Falling into place...

Out of step

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:42:21 GMT

Life happens.

I suppose I'll have to LOL at this. There's nothing else to do.

I've fully accepted that I am a black sheep/ewe. I doubt anybody will ever be able to fully understand. It goes hand in hand with me not being able to relate. This can be somewhat conflicting at times. It's okay though, because I do enjoy rollercoasters.

YESSS, we can!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:51:35 GMT

This is a follow up post. While nothing has been truly set in stone, this is my cousin's facebook status.

"Sharon ******* GAY MARRIAGE LEGALIZED IN DC!!!!! IM GETTING MARRIED SUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

So happy for her/everyone.

Warm wishes

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:18:04 GMT

I may just go to St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands.

As the British say, I'm off on a holiday ... right before the holiday. Maybe.

Is it that much of a mystery?

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:43:57 GMT

This is why I moved away. This is why I am contemplating moving even further away.

You make me miserable whenever I visit. I cannot sit in this house for 10 minutes without resisting the urge to punch out everything in sight. I literally cannot function in a normal manner because I am so enraged by your antics.

I made that for you. I thought it was cute and unique. You placed it in the bin you claimed was filled with my junk-trash. That same bin you repeatedly called me about because it was so damn important for me to clean out all of my belongings. Welp, fuck you. That former gift is mine now. Next time I'll stick to superficial, expensive gifts because apparently that's the only way you know how to express love. It's sickening.

I honestly would throw up all over your carpet right now if my body would allow it. That would show you how sickened I am by you and how you treat me.

My higher being doesn't discriminate.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:15:34 GMT

This has made me absolutely FURIOUS.
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/11/AR2009111116943.html

I am fairly certain that Jesus would approve of gay people who lived moral, honest lives. I am also sure he would have supported official, long-term relationships between any two people without regard to their gender. Angry.

asefkasjf

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:30:59 GMT

STOP . MAKING . ME . FEEL. BAD.

I am not a bad person, nor do I ever intend to be rude. The exception is starting to be you.
Stuff like this is why I am becoming less civil toward you with every day that passes. It's also exactly why I never go home or near D.C.

I am moving away for graduate school if I don't get into UMB. I don't care if it takes me another two years to save up.
Forget this noise.

Edit: Maybe I should apply to Hopkins after all.

"...the Johns Hopkins Pharmacology Department's advances over the years have included the first crystals of insulin, the first measurement of a drug level in a human, discovery of both the insulin and opiate receptors, and discovery of a cancer preventive principle in broccoli"

<3 broccoli

Memorial run

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:08:35 GMT

Despite a number of breaks/errands, the 6.2 miles are complete.
I'm pretty sure it's the thought that counts.

Next year it'll be on October 19th.
Rest in peace, pal.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:56:17 GMT

I ~~need to~~ will get it together.

My blessed monthly occurrence only intensifies the negativity. eff.

Hot suit.

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:27:28 GMT

Swine flu snot

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 20:16:04 GMT

I will not have a bad day at work.
I will not have a bad day at work.
I will not have a bad day at work.
I will not have a bad day at work.

Nope, not going to happen again. At least for a while.

HAHAHAHAH

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:19:17 GMT

I tricked Florian into eating Spam today.

He admitted that it was good. L-O-L AHAHAAAHAHA.

The calm after the storm.

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:55:30 GMT

Having night shifts in the midst of day shifts causes my physical exhaustion to increase exponentially. It's the best when you end several days of working with a night shift. The triumphant ride home is exhilarating. The brisk morning air soothes all of my aches, pains, and sorrows caused by the unit. By the time I'm home, it's no big deal. I can barely recall any true hardships from the shift.

Maybe I am crazy for choosing my unit as a starting point in my professional career, but my job is a priceless source of knowledge. It fills every and any available space in my brain with information, facts, and lessons in the most well-rounded way possible. I love it. With each shift I learn about science (pathophysiology, anatomy, pharmacology, physical assessment, etc.) , interpersonal relations (between co-workers, clinicians, family members, etc), business management (managerial skills, worker motivation, safety and quality, etc.), time management/organizational skills, and also family dynamics (loving, losing, coping, and turning for help). I learn so much about life and appreciate everything so much more outside of work.

I get stoked on life in my own quiet way.

I have the utmost respect for those who will continue to work in intensive care for years to come. I personally would not want to spend more than a few years in this setting as a bedside nurse. I am not off orientation and I am already saving patients' lives by correcting asinine orders written by resident physicians. Slightly irritating, but I want to dedicate my talents to making the critical care work environment a bit easier. I have a running list of dissertation topics. So, though I won't be saving lives with my bare hands, I'll be saving lives by helping those who will be doing the life-saving. If that makes sense. I will surely miss my chronic babies and children. Le sigh. Perhaps I'll work per diem once a week?

side note: Oh, I also need a good camera, or at least to borrow one. When I'm on my way home after a night shift I pass by an absolutely beautiful scene. There's this awesome, perfectly shaped tree at the park near my house. The tree sits exactly on top of a hill. If you approach the tree during certain hours of the morning, it seems as if you've stepped into a silent scene in a movie. (Except not, because you can hear birds chirping and leaves rustling. Damnit, I don't know how to describe it. Maybe I should say an important, yet calm scene? Guh, anyhow...) The way the sun's light hits the tree's leaves and branches is flawless. You can see the sun just barely rising in the distance. Thinking about it places me in a calm, comforting mood. I wonder if it's possible to capture all of this in a single shot?
another side note: If the "little things" mean so much, I am beginning to think that they aren't all that "little." I'm going to start calling them the commonly under appreciated waysuperawesome things in life.

final note: I am extremely scatter-brained after working almost 6 days in a row.

My patience is wearing thin.

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:42:33 GMT

Working in a fast-paced environment and continuously doing things that shove me out of my comfort bubble has seriously depleted my "virtue." I am trying really hard, but in the end it seems like I make up excuses for others and that I allow them to do the same for themselves.

For example, I personally escorted my mother out of my house the other day. I can't listen to her tell me that I do everything wrong and improperly. She told me I didn't know how to place a trash can and kitchen table properly. GTFO WITH THAT SHIT!!!

Oh gee.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:49:20 GMT

I feel like a tug of war rope.

Please, just talk it out.

I'm a google scholar.

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:57:40 GMT

I just can't relate.

Perhaps I am too lame/too serious, but I continue to find myself uninterested in all the same stuff. I have contemplated changing my ways before, but for now it is all completely unappealing and not worth my time. While I remain indifferent to others as a whole, I have lately heard a number of stories that disgust me. Oh well!

On another note, I wrecked for the first time. I skinned my elbow and bruised my thigh in a couple places, but other than that I am an embarrassed, yet lucky duck. I now know what it's like to get road rash. In regard to my last post, I left everything at the status quo. It wouldn't have mattered if I had said anything and it's not like my opinion would have any effect on future situations. I feel like a bad friend for not saying anything, but that's how I would have been perceived in the reverse situation. Oh well, again!

I am just glad that life is good.

Ahem.

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:38:56 GMT

Intervention time.

Yes, I am coming after you.

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:29:36 GMT

UGH. That was a close call.

Please stop following me. You fail at caring about anyone and anything, aside from yourself.
There is no way you would last, and if you somehow did, you'd bring down everyone around you. GTFO.

Indecisiveness

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:53:46 GMT

Scientist versus clinician?

I can't seem to stop questioning myself. Decisions need to be made in a timely manner; however, I don't want to reach a dead end in 3 years. Excel spreadsheets lay my brain out in an organized manner.

In the mean time, bring on the double vented patient assignments. ROAR.

I am totally naive.

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 19:32:40 GMT

Life is good.

I will soar so high you'll never believe I used to be within your sight.

I dislike this user name.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:25:29 GMT

I wish people still dressed like this.

I've got my plan ( ...when in Rome ).

Yes, we can.

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 03:26:55 GMT

First off, do not tell me that I am unsatisfied with your selection of frames because I am trying to make my mother pay for some Dolce & Gabba products. Second off, if you actually knew anything about the product you were trying to sell, you would have realized that your store cannot meet my needs. Third off, you judged the WRONG person. Do not label me as some spoiled brat.

YES, I snapped at you and told you that I was most definitely NOT looking for Dolce & Gabba eyeglasses. If there was even the slightest chance that I would want some D&G glasses, it would be completely impractical for my purposes. Also, this is exactly why you failed at your extra 10 minutes of my time. I knew you were going to fail all along. I have struggled with finding/wearing glasses for over 12 years, so please, do not doubt me when I say that your store cannot and will not meet my needs. K, thx.

All I want is a pair of frames that fit the following criteria:

Have a 48 or less eye (preferably less)
Have nose pads (I do not have a nose bridge to hold plastic frames and my eyelashes are too long for frames that sit close too my face)
Are not gold, silver, or rimless
Are light weight so they don't continuously slide down my lack of a nose bridge
Are not oval or round
Do not exceed the total of $500 with my extra high index lenses

The list goes on, but I am done explaining my point.
I may have found a winner, but only time will tell.

P.S. Go, Massachusetts!

Here's your key.

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:50:33 GMT

I crafted it with bitterness and resentment.

You filled my childhood house with memories of pain and sadness
(of me being a "fat, unintelligent, clumsy, incompetent, and annoying cry baby").

Why would I want to offer you access to an untouched house that's meant for a new chapter of my life?

It's probably me.

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:40:09 GMT

Hmm.

How are you so confident?
How are your vision, intellect, reason, and judgment so utterly impaired by a few weeks' time?
How can you blatantly ignore logic, fact, and word?
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

WAT. ^28732

fyi - that emoticon should be expressing shock/terror/the look that appears on your face when you see impending DOOM.

Bernese mountain dogs.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 05:52:27 GMT

I've come across a good number of these jolly guys. I wonder if it's a sign?

So, what are you trying to do again..?

whomp.

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:57:55 GMT

So, that one plan I had many moons ago turned out to be a complete backfire. I am now struggling to regain what I once was before I came up with that terrific idea/experiment.

New house. No furniture. Lots of studying for the next 5 days. oy.

Oh, hay 22!